Ask

How are you doing? Its been a couple months since we checked in and attempted to take steps towards acceptance. 

If you are like me, you probably felt very empowered initially. Then, school started and it went like this...

"WE GOT THIS! WE CAN DO HARD THINGS!!"

"We can't do hard things because everything is hard. Im tired. I want something to be easy. Help. "

"Ok this is doable but not sustainable."

"I'm emotionally drained and I can't be the cheerleader"

"This is what I was made for. This is temporary and I know I can keep myself in the present moment"

"Ok, this feels like a groove but this is not sustainable."

"I am focusing on gratitude and love."

"I CAN'T LISTEN TO ONE MORE TEAR OR COMPLAINT OR FIGHT OR ASSIGNMENT OR VOICEMAIL."

"How did I screw up the schedule and miss connect special time in week 5?"

"Ok, this feels like a groove but this is not sustainable."

"How did I screw up and miss the food delivery from the bus in week 5"

"Ok, this feels like a groove but this is not sustainable."

I think this is my baseline now. I have accepted this reality but I am still sitting in discomfort.

For me to be able to survive in the discomfort, I have to continue my daily rituals and self care. I have to ask myself how I am doing each day and throughout the day. I have to ask for time and help from my spouse and from my kids- and then accept it. I have to ask what creative next steps might help me personally, within the family environment and in this business. 

(www.instagram.com/wearecraftingood)

I think our fear and our mind and body's addiction to that fear and anxiety (yes that is an actual thing) holds us back from asking ourselves and those in our circles what we need and want. Society tells us that to be a good mom we have to be completely sacrificial. This can hold us back from asking what we need or want because all of our needs should be met by caregiving, right?

Part of a meditation training course I am taking helps me just observe and ask myself about things- my thoughts, my feelings, my habits, my priorities, my behavior, my reactions. This can feel scary. Sometimes I don't want to observe my thoughts or ask myself what I need and then ask how to meet those needs. It feels like a lot of work too- daring to imagine a life without the stress and anxiety that comes with modern motherhood. 

Fear can stop us in our tracks. Its uncomfortable to be stressed but its also even more uncomfortable to live without the stress. Because our stress and anxiety if what we know. We get benefits from feeling bad- it gives us an excuse to prevent us from doing all the things we know we can do. 

However, if we can move along WITH the fear, it will likely shrink down and be a frienemy instead of foe.

Allowing us to make braver decisions. Allowing us to dare to ask for our needs to be met.

Allowing us to dare to make our wellbeing a priority so we can serve in our roles with greater joy and ease and effectiveness. 

What can you ask for? Time?  Help? Joy? Curiosity? Creativity?

Be brave enough to do it.